you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
