week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
