Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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