I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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