My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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