She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
