is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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