hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
