i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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