she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
