i permit you to call me
I am puke
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
