my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
