so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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