there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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