I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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