i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
