I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
