make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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