VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
