hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
