haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
