Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
