dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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