Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
