i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
