We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
