Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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