he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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