Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
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does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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