Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
