i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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