I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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