You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
