They should really pass out barf bags in church
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
