It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
