that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
