either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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