She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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