Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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