the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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