brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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