I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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