Is it because I queefed?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
