you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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