i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
