Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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