she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
