OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
