my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
