His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
