wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
