I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
