He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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