and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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