The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
be right there i have to get my cape
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
