the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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