I will die if light touches me.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
