Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
