She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
