You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
