You really coming over, don't trick.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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