just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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