I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
