While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
