I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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