Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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