Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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