Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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